I Know I'll Be Fine
by The Lilac Elf of Lothlorien
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 7.10! As Sam and Dean think about the losses they've incurred, a prayer from Dean makes God realize that maybe it's time to stop taking away and start giving back.


AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, here it is. My 'what happens when Bobby kicks the bucket' story. While not the heartbreaking sob-fest I could have made it, there are some maudlin moments as well as mentions of suicide and homicide of real, actual people that truly exist. (Kripke, you've been warned, sir.)

Now, this isn't-as mentioned-as depressing as some of the stories I've read the past day or so, but it's not bright and cheerful, either.

BTW, the title comes from the song by Gary Allen 'Life Ain't Always Beautiful'.

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><p>SUPERNATURAL: I Know I'll Be Fine<p>

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><p>It was a miracle that Bobby was still holding on. The surgeons had somehow managed to get the bullet out of his brain and now it was a waiting game to see if he'd actually wake up.<p>

Dean was resolute in sitting by the older man's bedside, watching the machines and monitors for any sign that Bobby was coming back to the world of the living. What hurt so much about Bobby's possible passing wasn't all the years he'd known the man or how over time the older hunter had become a surrogate father to Dean and Sam.

It was the stupid argument last year when Bobby berated the Winchester boys for not being more grateful. Sam and Dean had understood what Bobby was saying, and they had realized that they took the man for granted.

"You were right, Bobby," Dean said, quietly, trying to keep a choke out of his voice. "Sam and I… we _are_ selfish. If anyone deserves a corner of Heaven, it's you. You deserve to be happy. But Sam and I still need you here. I don't want you to go, Bobby. I can't do it. I told you before that if you were gone that I wouldn't be far behind and I meant that. I don't care if you're already on the other side… You get your ass back here."

Dean wiped the tears from his eyes and leaned back in his chair for a moment before leaning forward again and bowing his head in prayer. "I don't know if you're listening," he said, not sure why he was asking God for help. "Hell, I don't know if you even care. But you owe us. I know Sam and I have screwed the pooch on the apocalypse, the Leviathans… And I don't care if you never help us again, but… Sam and I… Bobby's the only real dad we've ever had. He and Sam are the only things keeping me grounded… keeping me from sticking a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger."

The younger hunter was crying openly now. "What's next?" Dean asked, turning his gaze up towards Heaven. "Taking Sam away from me, too? You took my mom, my dad, Ellen and Jo, Lisa and Ben… Hell, the Impala is the only real home I've ever had and you've all but taken that, too." He bowed his head again, wiping his face with one hand. "When are you gonna stop taking away everything I've ever loved?"

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><p>Sam had been sitting in a corner of the coffee shop for the past few hours, thinking of all that had happened the past few days. He knew with a startling amount of clarity that Bobby was now at death's door because he had been making sure no one was coming after Sam and Dean.<p>

Once again, Bobby had put himself directly in harm's way to protect his boys without even thinking of what they would do if he was gone.

"This seat taken?"

Sam looked up sharply when he heard Ellen Harvelle's voice and as she sat down at Sam's table, she watched him as he pressed his right thumb hard into his left palm. She gently put her hand on Sam's and said, "It's really me, sweetie."

Sam looked reluctant to believe it, but Ellen gently squeezed his hand until he nodded. "B-But how…? Why…?"

Ellen's expression was sad as she gently stroked Sam's arm. "Bobby's afraid to move on. He doesn't think you and Dean can make it without him."

"I don't know if we can," Sam admitted, not meeting Ellen's gaze. "We've just lost too much. I just… I don't know what the point in trying is anymore."

Ellen was quiet for a moment as she watched Sam for a while. Finally, she said, "What if… me and Jo stay?"

Sam looked up, confused at what Ellen had said. "What?"

Ellen sighed and went on. "If Jo and I stayed here… helped you and Dean… Do you think you could let Bobby go?"

Sam looked incredulous at the thought. He didn't even know where to begin with that prospect. On the surface, it didn't even seem like a fair trade. But he had to be realistic. Even if Bobby _did_ pull through, who knew what the older man's life would be. Would Bobby even regain consciousness? Sam thought back to a case years ago where the ghost of a young girl who had been poisoned by her stepmother had been killing people in fairy-tale-like fashion. Is that what would become of Bobby? Becoming the very thing he'd sworn to hunt?

Ellen waited as Sam thought it through. She knew he wouldn't consult Dean in the matter since Dean wasn't exactly stable right now. He would find out later and that would be best. When Sam nodded, she knew it was the best for everyone.

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><p>Dean startled awake when someone shook his shoulder. He looked around expecting Sam but quickly jumped to his feet when he saw that it was—"Bobby!"<p>

Bobby hugged the younger man whom he considered his son and after he pulled away a bit, he said, "I'm gonna miss you, boy."

Dean looked from the live Bobby to the man's still, unconscious form lying in the bed and back again. "Don't do this, Bobby," Dean begged, tears in his eyes. "We'll find something to fix this."

"Not this time," Bobby replied, shaking his head. Putting a hand on Dean's shoulder, he said, "You and Sam are as close as my own flesh and blood and I couldn't be more proud of you boys. And you _will_ be okay, Dean." When Dean violently shook his head, Bobby squeezed the younger man's shoulder in a firm yet kind manner. "Hey… You will, Dean. This _ain't_ the end, boy. Not by a long shot. God's done taking away, Dean. Trust me—he owes us and unless he wants to lose two of his best hunters, he's gonna start giving something back."

"How do you know?" Dean snapped, doubtfully, tears in his eyes.

"Cause He already has," Bobby replied as he pointed behind Dean and when the younger hunter turned, Bobby saw Dean go to hug his brother, Jo, and Ellen.

"Ready, Bobby?" the reaper asked, sounding a bit more patient this time around.

Bobby watched the reunion and after a moment, he turned to the reaper. "Yeah," he said, not happy about leaving. "But I got a few conditions first."

"Such as?"

Bobby glared angrily as he said, "Whoever had the brilliant idea that it was _my _time to kick the bucket? I want his ass to join me."

The reaper nodded in agreement before taking Bobby Singer up to Heaven.

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><p><em>The Real World<em>

'Supernatural' Writers Found Dead of Unknown Causes

_Writers Sera Gamble and Eric Kripke—also the creator of the CW series '_Supernatural'_—were found dead today of unknown causes. Both writers seemed to be in perfect health the previous day and medical examiners have no idea as to what could have caused the deaths._

_One of the show's actors—Misha Collins who played the angel Castiel—is quoted as saying, "While we on the show do acknowledge this as a great loss, the two top theories are either the hand of God… or fan backlash."_

_No further comments are available at this time._


End file.
